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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
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Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
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If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
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There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
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One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
I am not young enough to know everything.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
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One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
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It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
How much does market samurai cost
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 17:06
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